I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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