JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
