honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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