just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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