I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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