This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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