They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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