You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
