Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
