She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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