Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
