I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
