I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
