Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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