Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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