She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
