I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize