why didn't you poke me back
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
