wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
We're too hungover to prance.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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