she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
