I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
