Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
