its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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