TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
