but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
