so that wasnt chicken after all
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
