# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
