Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
