if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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