Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
