if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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