would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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