guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
