The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
When did angry sex become our thing?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize
