this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize