if you like me you must not know who I am
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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