this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
