garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
