she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
