Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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