Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
