Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
