It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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