I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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