Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
