I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
