Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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