if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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