My sheets look like a crime scene.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
