i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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