We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize