Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
