Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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