she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize