I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize