i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
