eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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