You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
