I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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