with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
