Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
