and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
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