fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
third nipple confirmed
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
