she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
