The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
We just shotgunned beers for America
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
