sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize