Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
